A restless battle of life versus death– the thoughts consume one’s identity, until the only remnants consist of a hollow vessel, a shell of what once stood.
Experiencing a fight of her own, Ava Clauder, senior, said suicide impacted her.
“I didn’t really understand how suicidal thoughts affected people 24/7, until I actually experienced them myself,” Clauder said. “It really changes everything whenever you see loved ones and people that you knew from school losing their lives to suicide.”
Clauder said recovery became a possibility once she switched her view on life.
“What motivated my recovery was probably setting goals for myself,” Clauder said. “Things…like I want to have a family and kids…because I was just waking up every day and I had nothing to look forward to.”
Clauder said people should deal with their feelings, even when they feel overwhelmed.
“Don’t keep it inside,” Clauder said. “Just try to journal, like in your notes app or on a piece of paper. Getting those emotions out on paper really can help, even if you don’t like talking with somebody about it yet… and it helps develop a plan on how you can get help.”
On the outside looking in, Paul Drinkard Jr., freshman, said his ideas of suicide matured when his dad committed suicide in 2021.
“It made me take mental health more seriously because, at the start, I made fun of people,” Drinkard said. “Then once it happened, I actually began looking out for people.”
Drinkard said a person considering suicide should stop and reflect.
“Just don’t do it. It’s a temporary problem,” Drinkard said. “Suicide is a bad choice, and you should talk to somebody you trust about it.”
When faced with emotionally charged words like “suicide,” Drinkard said grief affected him and his family still today.
“[The word suicide] still reminds me of my dad, but I kind of got over it a little bit,” Drinkard said. “But for my mom, it’s just a hard topic for her, and she really cares about it.”
Confronting a similar situation, Dawysn Coons, junior, said students should learn more about the effects of suicide.
“There should be more information on suicide taught in high school,” Coons said. “Our school does go over the topic, but in my opinion, not enough. Suicide is such a big deal, and I feel as though we push it under the rug.”
Coons said people should not limit suicide awareness to one month of the year.
“I think we should talk about it every month of the year because it is such a big deal that needs to be talked about more often,” Coons said.
For those who struggle with mental health, Coons said students should remember their worth.
“Please don’t take it so seriously. This moment will pass,” Coons said. “You are a good person, and people love you.”
Hoping to spread awareness, BJ Johnson, co-founder of #giveme20, said suicide does not abide by any rule.
“It doesn’t matter how old you are; independence does not mean doing everything on your own. It doesn’t matter if you’re 15, 25, 55, or 105; there is not a single thing in this world that you have to do by yourself,” Johnson said. “Ask for help; struggling alone is not necessary. We all have people who love us and would want to help us. We just have to give them that chance.”
Johnson said dealing with the suicide of her daughter, Regan Johnson, sophomore in 2017, caused her to change her identity completely.
“[Suicide] changes how you function in the world. It changes your relationships,” Johnson said. “It changes every single piece of your life, and there were times that I wasn’t exactly sure that I would survive.”
Battling through the darkness, Johnson said suffering resided in anyone experiencing a difficult time.
“I think everyone will have a time in their life when they are struggling and they feel darkness. They feel like maybe life isn’t worth living,” Johnson said. “It’s important to understand that statistically, 55 percent of suicides are people who had no known mental health diagnosis.”
Recovering from his own battle with mental illness, Blake Scheffer, senior, said he found peace in religion.
“The biggest motivating factor to me would be Jesus Christ and just wanting to pursue my faith to live for him and not for myself, because living for myself is what got me there,” Scheffer said.
Scheffer said recovery took self-discipline.
“It’s something you have to let it hurt, let it heal,” Scheffer said. “Try to be there if you can for that person that’s going through that… but it’s all you, because it’s your mind, and you control what you think.”
Scheffer said students should view life through a more positive lens.
“Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem,” Scheffer said. “The way I look at life now, I’m much more grateful for the people around me and the memories that I have and I’ve created and continue to create.”